Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Suzanna knows' best -
February 19, 2004

You know that quote, "you get what you pay for"? Well do you really? I went to see my favorite (ok only) therapist yesterday afternoon. I've been seeing Miss Suzanna since April of last year. She's an intelligent women, one of the best therapists I have worked with, and extremely poised in all situations.

Yesterday I was feeling a little irritated about going to see her. Some days I just don't feel like working on things. Regardless I decided to go and sit there in silence for as long as possible. Juvenile? Yes. Am I paying this woman over $100 an hour for her services? Of course. So why waste my money?

Well, you don't always get what you pay for. So I sit there. Looking a little aloof, and lost. She's staring. I'm jostling around, obviously uncomfortable with my little game. She keeps asking the same question, and I just broke. I don't even think I got 30 seconds in. The pressure was just too much.

And it didn't end there. Next thing I know, she decides its the day to push me. Get me out of my comfort zone, and suggest I try the "impossible" in my life.

She asks me what I thought was an appropriate step. Let's just say that I said the equivalent of holding hands. Her response? "Ok, what about making out".

Gee, let's see. Did she hear me? Since when did holding hands become a full on contact sport with people licking each other? Ok, I admit. Holding hands is not even a step really, and I need someone to call me out or I wouldn't pay her for it.

Yet, there are days that I want to look at her and say, "You know Suzanna, let's talk about you - maybe your pants or your haircut would be a good place to start". Let me sit in the all knowing chair of self righteousness. Why not? I know the right things to do, I just don't do them.

I know I need to try harder, but I'm comfortable. So in the end, did I really get what I paid for? A lecture from a bad haircut? Yes, admittedly I did.

I'll take her stinking advice and let you know how it turns out. And with a sigh, I'm out.

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