PP180
Please help me. I beg you. If you’ve read anything on this site, you might know that I don’t have the best luck in the world with boys. However recently, it seems I’ve hit a new low. Point in case? Below is an actual conversation that yours truly had with a boy this weekend. First let me set the stage.
It’s an overcast humid day in Austin, and I’m sitting in the parking lot of one of my favorite Cuban restaurants. The restaurant burnt down a couple of weeks ago, so they are throwing a benefit party for the people who use to work there and no longer have jobs. There is a band playing, food cooking, people dancing, and everyone is drinking and having a good time. I am on a bench across from Cal (my best guy-friend), Simon, Simon’s girlfriend for the hour and PP180 (super drunk boy at the party whom I have never met before).
PP180: Hey! Hey Amanda.
Me: Ya? What?
PP180: Would you like me to come over there and pee on your right thigh?
** At this point, I think I must have misheard some part of that statement**
Me: Huh? Pee?
PP180: Ya, dude. I could pee on you….or poo on you, if you’d rather.
You know, this begs for the question: How lucky can I be? Just to think the male species either a) wants to mark me like their territory or b) thinks of me as a human toilet.
I’ll take any suggestion you’ve got!
5 Comments:
i think he was either high on some drugs or he actually thinks it's a cool pick up line. i recommend slugging him!! lol....
btw, what is a ficus tree?? ur post on panty hose was hilarious. i used to wear them when i worked parttime, now i couldnt care less. i think that's why i wear pants all the time, cos i couldnt be bothered to shave every other day. i only wear skirts when i feel like it, and then only shave.
i feel what u said.
5:52 PM
oh man, you're living the dream.
run. don't walk straight into his piss lovin' arms. (awfulgross)
6:00 PM
I'd tell him to pee in a cup and drink up his own urin after he's done.
He's so wasted.
8:49 AM
Ahh, brings new meaning to a wet dream - doesn't it?
Oh - and a ficus tree is a plant that looks like a miniature tree that people use to decorate their offices. You know, so they can get the jungle fever going on! :)
9:50 AM
OMG!! Nothing have to say could top Wayne's comment!
Although as a person who also has a checkered history with men... I'm guessing you must have intimidated the fuck out of him. Guys only resort to such awful humour when they feel the need to make an impression, often because they feel somehow inadequate.
Unless this guy is 7 years old, in which case, there's hope for him.
10:40 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home