Once again, I’m in a pickle. I feel like I’m staring up from the bottom of an undertow, and don’t know which way to go. If one more person tells me to follow my heart, I will surely rip their eyeballs out and donate them to science.

If it was that easy, don’t you think I would have done that by now? God knows I might be a little (ok sometime a lot) neurotic, but I’m not an idiot. Decisions and logic usually come fairly easy to me, although I do struggle with my emotions often.

Regardless, here’s the situation. Please help me decide.

I have one love that’s been with me through thick and thin over the years. He helped me learn how to laugh at myself, and to remember the little things in life are the most important things. He stirs my passion like no other man could, reminding me of a playful boy who’s discovering life and the power of women. He’s always fun and ready to have a good time, never moody or temperamental like my other love.

Guess that leads to the other man. He’s ornery and just plain mean some times. His mood swings make Margot Kidder look normal. One minute he’s happy and drinking, the next minute he hates the world and is loathing in a self-pity bath the size of Lake Michigan. But I love him, I do. Sure he might be an alcoholic, but he’s so real and so human I feel instantly connected to him. I obsess over him, and it’s probably not healthy but who cares? What’s life if you can’t truly get into another person’s deepest thoughts and cover yourself in their skin?

After all this time I can’t believe I’ve never been forced to make this type of decision before, but it’s here staring me in the face. They both require my attention at the same time and space, and I am lost. Do I go to my man that’s always lifting me up? Or run off with the man who’s always bringing me down in such a defiant way? It’s just one day, it’s just one time, but it means the world to me and I don’t want to pick the wrong guy.

Please help me. If you need more details to help me pick this one or that one, go here and look at Saturday the 18th from 5-6 p.m.