Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Monday, April 19, 2004

Quit your bitchin or the world's gonna get you!

I had a feeling the weekend wasn’t going to go my way. Friday I managed to tie a nice one on, and see some rock at the 710. I also weaseled my way out of a hangover thanks to people smarter than I am. What would I do without you? Oh – what will I do?

Saturday came with a handful of sadness and a box of “what-ifs”. I managed to keep my mind off things, until I went to drop off movies and caught the sunset. It was another beautiful sunset in Austin, with all the pinks and blues swirling around for one last minute of play before bedtime. And, I started to cry. I couldn't stop myslef from picking up the phone to see how the MS150 was going. Is anyone hurt? Is everyone having fun? Hubby answered and seemed a little tipsy. Amazing what marathon runners can do – 100 miles on a bike, drink beer, get up and roll out another 80 miles with a hangover. Maybe that has more to do with being an alcoholic than a runner.

Despite the slight annoyance at his trifling slur, I felt so sad and alone. “That ride is my ride”, I whined in my head. Pulling off the repertoire of my 5 year-old nephew, I threw a little tantrum. Ok maybe it was more like a medium tantrum that lasted until Sunday.

I love spending Sunday mornings alone with Miles Davis. I convinced myself to have a good day. I can do it, whatever it takes! After studying, I took a shower and went down to Manuels to see a friend. On the way, I passed a gaggle of riders. The whining commenced where I left off on Saturday, “I want to be all happy and proud. I want to have accomplished that..” Still, I tried to persevere. Manuels was a nice change to my mood. A happy little trio playing classico, a watermelon margarita, and a hottie behind the bar made me a happy girl. I read the Chronicle and snacked a little, enjoying my time.

On the way home I ran into them again. Bastards! Get your bike and get outta town! Do you have to keep rubbing it in my face? I get the point – you rock, I don’t. There went the mood. Alcohol and other sundries didn’t change it. A trip to the grocery made it even worse. I was bitching the whole way, like a hooker on a hot day (only I looked a little better than that).

On the way home just as I blurted out “I just don’t like people today”, we hear a “pop”. Some kid threw a rock or something at my car. Normally, I would get pissed and jump out of the car like a hellion. But considering how awful I was all weekend, I decided to take it for what is was worth. People didn’t like me much either. My friend says it was my instant karma. Fine, let the world kick me back. I deserve it.

So today after being scolded by the big bad world, I will try and be a kinder sweeter snowflake. And dear world, if you are reading this, I have learned my lesson. Please don’t crack my windshield or have someone break into my house. I promise to be good, and give the 5-year-old attitude back to my nephew.

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