How can this happen?


Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Los Angeles
You are the epitome of duality. You'll deal with all the strife to bask in all the glamour.


Am I really this bad? Could it be any worse? LA? Isn't LA where all the horrible yellow tans, and ridiculous t-top driving people come from? Isn't it where porcelain veneers and fake tits rule the city? What to do, what to do?

I took it yesterday, and really didn't worry about it too much. This morning as I was getting ready for another fabulous and thrilling day as an accountant, I heard the monsoons coming.

I bundled up and put on my rain coat. It's no sissy rain coat either, and it's not girlie. We're talking navy blue with a hoodie that science's around your face and hangs down to your knees. No man would ever look at a woman twice in one of these puppies. (Unless he's from New England, but that doesn't really count).

I jumped out of my door, only to realize I had parked on the street, not in front of my door. As I start to run, I realize it's futile. The rain has already persevered through my jacket, winning the thrill of wet tendrils, soaked pants, and sloshy shoes. I was the big looser.

I get to work only 10 minutes late, not bad considering you couldn't see the roads and the windshield wipers were as helpful as drink umbrella in your fancy cocktail. And now, a little time has gone by. I am dry once again, and my hair has taken on it's own little life.

It's the carefree life of my hair that I wish I had. Curling here, straight as an arrow there. It doesn't mind that the world is pleading for it to stop and conform.

Yet, I am leaving to go home and try and salvage a little respect out of it. And so I wonder, does this make me LA? Does it prove I am as shallow as the puddles I jump today? Am I going to come back and make my appointment for tummy tuck and butt job?

No not, quite. But I plead of you. Should you see me walking by, with a Gucci bag and sunglasses covering my entire face - slap the shit out of me and get me to the lake!