Who’s the big jackass now?

Eeoyre’s Birthday in Austin is a blessed event. Eeyores-Partay
Hundreds of freaky Austinite’s come out each year to celebrate their favorite childhood character. Considering this fine furry creature and I have the same birthday, I thought I would do a little investigation to discover why so many people attend his birthday in lieu of mine. Here’s the skinny:

Description:
Eeyore: A donkey, about 18 inches tall and 27 inches long. Stuffed with sawdust
Mine: A woman, about 5’4 inches tall, there is nothing 27 inches long on her, but she wears a 34C bra. The woman, not the bra, is stuffed with gin and tonics and chicken soup.

More Description:
Eeyore: Intelligent and quiet. Keeps to himself. Always depressed. Current (and only) resident of the House at Pooh Corner.
Mine: Slightly obnoxious and moody. Overtly social. Slightly depressed. Current resident of the House of Make-believe.

Favorite Thing: Being remembered on his birthday.
Mine: Oh yea? Well me too, buddy!


Things He Likes: Thistles, pots and burst balloons.
Me: Teakettles, pot, and full balloons

Things He Dislikes: Being bounced, swimming,
or broken thistles.
Me: Being tickled, being cold, and loud people

Biggest Problem: His tail keeps coming off.
Mine: My panties keep coming off.

Second Biggest Problem: His house keeps falling down.
Mine: I can’t get out of my house.

So you tell me, Austin, who’s party would you rather be at? A grumpy old donkey’s party or my party? Would you rather look at pots or enjoy your pot? Would you rather be friends with a disgruntled hairy creature, or a girl who recognizes the importance of waxing?

Sure there are no books or websites devoted to me, but I’m not as old as Eeyore. Just give me time. And sure, he has cool friends like piglet and Poo. But would you want to hang out with Christopher Robins? I didn’t think so. But go ahead, do what you like. As for me, I will be boycotting Eeyore’s birthday party. Sure I’m going to go, but I’m celebrating my birthday not his. So there.