Glad to be back

Do you wake up every Monday and wonder when your liver is going to pack up and move out of your body? I’m pretty sure mine is thinking about getting out before the 1st of the year. This weekend didn’t help.

I drove to Houston on Saturday donning a low cut cocktail dress and ridiculously high heels. I was suppose to wear my drinking shoes, but they just didn’t work with the rest of my outfit. The minute I pulled up and the valet opened my car door, I knew it was going to be a long night. I walked approximately 10 feet to a bar outside the door of the building, was handed a vodka tonic, and usher inside to meet 200 people strangers. Eventually I found friendly faces midst a sea of hors d'oeuvres and flowers. Welcome to a birthday party in Houston. It was over the top in every possible way.

After all the courses were served, the 20-piece band packed up, and the dancers were done performing we headed out to a club. We were bumped and pushed into a VIP room and handed shots. People started leaving for “the bathroom” in droves. They would come back, take a sip of their drink, and head back to the bathroom again. I found refuge on a huge couch with the company of a Jack and coke. It’s hard staying awake when you’re one of the few people in the crowd who doesn’t partake in party favors.

At 2:00 am we were pushed into cars and driven to someone’s house for an after hours party. By this point I had consumed roughly 10 drinks and was sitting in a courtyard talking to a friend who was also running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. On one of her excursions a man came up and sat next to me. The conversation went something like this:

Guy: Hey you’re Amanda, right?
Me: Yup (I’m digging in my pocket searching for cookies I stole at the party earlier in the night)
G: You want to get out of here
M: I’m fine (I’m eating my cookie trying to sober up)
G: You sure? It’s only 5:30
M: Where are we going to go at 5:30 in the morning?
G: You’re kidding right?
M: Oh, got ya. No, I’m fine here
G: I make a lot of money
M: I make enough on my own
G: I drive Mercedes blah blah blah
M: I don’t know anything about cars
G: You’re kind of a bitch, aren’t you?
M: Only to guys I don’t want to fuck

Guy # 1 leaves and I sit there about 2 minutes before his friend comes up.

G2: I heard you just blew off my friend
M: I don’t know your friend.
G2: Well, if it makes you feel any better I make more than twice what he does
M: That’s nice
G2: You want to come with me?
M: Are you guys serious?
G2: The three of us could go if that would be better for you.

I didn’t realize it was an auction.

I’m convinced this is the type of behavior that comes to people who never had a parent. These are the kids who were chauffeured around town, whisked in an out of private schools when they set fires in the halls, and received their trust funds at 16. Some of them raised themselves well, but the majority of them are grown men with no sense of responsibility. Surrounded with lawyers and connections, their life is about having a good time without any cares. $500 tab, who turn is it? Wrecked your M-3? I know a buddy who can get you a new one by the end of the day. Drugs? No problem, they’ll be here within the hour. Women? No problem, we know plenty of girls who will sleep with you for your money.

I left late on Sunday night from my friend’s house. He was tucked in bed next to a beautiful woman he hardly knows. I popped my head in his bedroom. “Night D. I’ll see you next time,” I said quietly. His hollow eyes looked up at me. “By Crazy A, I love you.”

Driving home I thought about his eyes. Waking up to a different stranger every weekend and partying with the boys has drained him. His biggest problem now is finding a woman who loves him, and not his money. I can’t imagine living there again and watching all the lost souls try to forget. Take this, drink that, party more. Forget about your failed marriage, your empty life, and your lifeless existence. Work out, buy that car, and invest in this. Don’t look inside where you’ve destroyed your body, heart and mind.

It was a good weekend for me, but I’m so glad to be home. I love my friends who ride bikes, drive crappy cars, and talk about Funyons. Houston can keep their fast passed life, I’m happy to be in Austin were things are slower and the people are more down to earth.