Head Case

I’m pretty sure I made it though the New Year’s celebration pretty much intact. Well, from what I can tell so far. Here’s a little slice of it from the vantage point of my phone messages. Baby Boy was visiting some friends back home, leaving me to my own devices. Wonder if he’ll do that next year?

Phone call #1 to Baby Boy (BB) at noon on New Year’s Eve: “I can’t believe you’re not here for New Years. I mean, do you really mean all those things you say to me? If you did, I just don’t see how you could have planned to be away on New Year’s Eve. It’s obvious you don’t love me!” (Disgruntled BB tried to reason with me to no avail.)

Phone call #2 to BB at midnight: “Sorry I was mad earlier. I thought I was pregnant and I was super scared and pissed at you. But now I started, so I love you again! Happy New Year!” (Shocked BB mumbled sweet nothings and got off the phone relieved)

Phone call #3 to BB at 9 am the next morning: “Hi, you. I just got up and I’m leaving this message even though you didn’t pick up because this is the time in the mornings that I usually start talking to you and you’re still asleep and you get all annoyed at me and try to make me fall back asleep. So it’s like I’m with you, but you’re not forced to listen to me ramble until you’re awake. So it’s probably nice for you. So anyway, I woke up just a second ago to a bunch of blood all over my pillowcase. I think I’m fine, but I have no idea where the blood came from. Weird, huh?” (BB hears message at noon on Sunday and laughs)

Phone call #4 to BB at 10:30 am New Year’s Day: “Hi! Me again. Well I just wanted to call you back and let you know that I finally remembered what happened to result in the bloody pillowcase. I remember falling out of bed last night and hitting my head on my nightstand. I guess I didn’t realize I was that hurt and bleeding and I fell back asleep. Funny, huh?” (BB hears message and realizes he’s in way over his head with me and contemplates making me wear a helmet when I sleep)

So it turns out that not only am I neurotic, but now I’m mildly retarded as proven by falling out of bed and cracking the noggin. At the least I’m a retard that survived. I guess ’06 started out a little rough for me. Hope yours was prettier!