Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Friday, December 03, 2004

Warning signs

I was right to listen to my instincts. Sure enough things here have been a little tumultuous. I’m sailing through rough seas and thankful I feel strong. I’m asking for what I want and need, and it’s serving me well.

It was the eagerness to go to court, the looks he gave her when he was sitting right next to me, and the confirmation of a cell phone bill that brought it all home. Don’t get me wrong I’ve never proclaimed to be an angel, but there are some knives I’ve sparred him. Making a fool out of your friends commands your enemies to spring forth. And so it went.

These things will pass for me, and in a few weeks my only reminder of him will be the house we use to share and my last name. I’m left with a hollow memory of a friendship in need of repair. I was always introduced as his first wife during our marriage. Funny how true that was in retrospect. Only he had one line wrong. “Your first wife is your most important wife, because she still loves you while you are poor and has your children.” I left without child.

Why does strength come to us in a disastrous fashion? What qualities does is possess that it refuses to let us to learn about ourselves during times of happiness? Part evil and part beauty, it must be something of a female construction.

by body item ;

7 Comments:

Blogger Wayne said...

Ah.... Amanda...I dunno what to say... But you know you are strong enough to go through all odds against you.
And it's that strengh in you, made you such a beautiful person. Inside and outside.

1:12 PM

 
Blogger MzOuiser said...

{{hug}}

6:38 PM

 
Blogger Dirty Dan Sin said...

Look, I don't know you and am quite sure this is none of my business. But I just want to give you a big old 'YOUCANDOIT!'

I was lucky to get out with a few shreds of dignity and the failing business. I'll stay tuned for the return of yer good times.

10:13 PM

 
Blogger Hotpants said...

I love you snowflake.

You do well and will always be good.

12:45 PM

 
Blogger mona said...

when i was sad a lovely girl offered to kiss my eyelids.

i'd like to send the same lovey shout out to you now, you are wonderful.

10:51 AM

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Thanks everyone! I'll be back to my old ass kicking force in no time.

12:13 PM

 
Blogger ErntsBloggo said...

When people are mad, angry, suffering, whatever, and that inner strength perks up and asks, "What the fu*&!?!? I ain't taking this sh$*!!!," I find those moments to be some of the most beautiful this world has to offer.

3:05 PM

 

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