Just a little more, baby - I'm almost there

I went shopping on my lunch break today. I was suppose to go and buy food for our company Thanksgiving lunch tomorrow, but those greedy bastards can wait. I need shoes and jeans and maybe a top and…

I wandered around the store picking up an armful of mismatched articles, and resisted picking up the one-piece leather strapless dress with more buckles than a courier bag. Yes, I was at Sluts and More – why do you ask?

I tromped into the dressing room, threw my clothes on the chair and swung around to see myself in the mirror. Not bad today. Damn, I’m kinda hot today. I think I’ll give myself a little strip tease. So off I go doing my best impression of an Anna Nicole pre-junkie-pre-fatty trash dance. Off comes the shirt and bra – after lots of twirling of course. Ta dada da da…I’m humming as I slide down my pants shaking my ass. I go to pull off my tall boot and ….and….where the hell’s the pull on the zipper? It’s at that moment, as I was bending down with my pants around my thighs that I fell and hit my head on the mirror.

“Umm, mam? Are you ok? Can I help you?” asks the 13-year-old attendant. “Oh, no – quite fine. Thanks”

Which takes me into an uncontrollable laughter at myself. So there I am naked from the top up curled over trying with all of my might to make the damn zipper go down. I don’t realize that I’m grunting, but it wasn’t budging. “Errrr – uggggg, come on…come on baby…”

“Mam, you’re sure you’ all right?”
“Yes, fine – thank you”

I take out my key chain and finally manage, after lots more grunting, to get the damn zipper down and the boot off. I am the McGuiver of women, after all. I let out a big relieved sigh and tried my clothes on, in a very humble way. Three of the workers are standing in the corner of the store laughing at me as I walk out. The odd part was is that they didn’t stop when I looked at them scornfully.

I proceed to the check out counter and wait to be rung up. Finally, one of the ugly laughers comes and says in a giggly voice, “Will that be all?”

“No – thrown in the trashy leather dress and a pair of those red panties” I smirk back.

I hope they think I’m the whore that I really am deep down inside. Can’t a girl have any fun by herself anymore?