Turning points

There is something to be said for events not meeting your expectations. Like the party you dread, but you’re the last one out the door at the end of the night. In my case, I built up my court date today to be the most heinous of events. I kept thinking about leaving my best friend and being alone. I went over our wedding a million times in my head. I kept thinking of all the mistakes I made with him along the way.

This morning we sat in the courtroom side by side waiting for my turn. He held my hand until I asked him not to because he was making me cry. The judge called my name and granted the divorce, and as I turned around my X was there to walk me out.

We drove down the street to a little Mexican breakfast joint. It was all hustle and bustle inside and we were quickly pointed to a booth. We talked about our goals for the next year and the goals we’d accomplished so far. We laughed about our families and figured out our Christmas presents. We remembered how lucky we have always been flying together and I grimaced as he ate his eggs. We talked about how we want our friendship to look in the future, and about how we could accomplish the tight rope dance of switching from partners to friends. And for a moment there was silence and we just gave one another a slight smile.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man approaching. He gave the X a wink, a simple greeting and a handshake. The X looked surprised at seeing his old friend. I smiled and said, “That’s your therapist, isn’t it?” He replied in the affirmative, to which I responded “I’ve always questioned if I was doing the right thing by leaving you. I don’t have to wonder that anymore. Your angels are all around you.”

As I drove away I felt relieved. I felt light for the first time in many years. I don’t have to look back anymore and question my decisions. Today marks a new beginning. I’m ready to enjoy the journey.

Please note, from this point on the X hubby will now be called K, his rightful name.