Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Turning points

There is something to be said for events not meeting your expectations. Like the party you dread, but you’re the last one out the door at the end of the night. In my case, I built up my court date today to be the most heinous of events. I kept thinking about leaving my best friend and being alone. I went over our wedding a million times in my head. I kept thinking of all the mistakes I made with him along the way.

This morning we sat in the courtroom side by side waiting for my turn. He held my hand until I asked him not to because he was making me cry. The judge called my name and granted the divorce, and as I turned around my X was there to walk me out.

We drove down the street to a little Mexican breakfast joint. It was all hustle and bustle inside and we were quickly pointed to a booth. We talked about our goals for the next year and the goals we’d accomplished so far. We laughed about our families and figured out our Christmas presents. We remembered how lucky we have always been flying together and I grimaced as he ate his eggs. We talked about how we want our friendship to look in the future, and about how we could accomplish the tight rope dance of switching from partners to friends. And for a moment there was silence and we just gave one another a slight smile.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man approaching. He gave the X a wink, a simple greeting and a handshake. The X looked surprised at seeing his old friend. I smiled and said, “That’s your therapist, isn’t it?” He replied in the affirmative, to which I responded “I’ve always questioned if I was doing the right thing by leaving you. I don’t have to wonder that anymore. Your angels are all around you.”

As I drove away I felt relieved. I felt light for the first time in many years. I don’t have to look back anymore and question my decisions. Today marks a new beginning. I’m ready to enjoy the journey.

Please note, from this point on the X hubby will now be called K, his rightful name.


by body item ;

6 Comments:

Blogger mona said...

do you hate eggs?

did eggs kill your father?

(hearts)

11:40 AM

 
Blogger Dirty Dan Sin said...

Glad you are past the state's involvement. Here's hoping we cross paths on this new journey of yours. Here's also hoping you can feel your angels all around you. Don't freak if some look like beasts at first glance....they mean you no harm.

11:49 AM

 
Blogger MzOuiser said...

I envy your friendship with K. My X stopped returning my phone calls and emails months ago... and I wish things were different. But, I respect it.

May the new roads you travel take you to wonderful places! Maybe I'll see you there in a few months...

3:49 PM

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Thank you, thank you for all your kind words. I think you guys are my angels some days.

I know I will see all of you down the road. I can't wait to thank you in person.

6:39 AM

 
Blogger Hotpants said...

I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad you feel free.

I'm so glad.

7:57 AM

 
Blogger Johnny said...

One step forward and two steps back
Nobody gets too far like that
One step forward and two steps back
This kind of dance can never last

And we were never really meant for each other
We were never meant to last
In the years that we danced together
Each step forward we took two steps back

10:47 AM

 

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