I know – I know. I pulled the tirade piss off post down.
You would too if a sweet boy called you last night all depressed, and when you asked him why he was sad he said “I just love you, and I’m sorry that things with your X still hurt. I know it’s hard, but you’re amazing.”
These words came from a boy who never gets depressed. A boy who misses his sunny weather and warm southern smiles, and feels a little down that his best girl is sad and he’s without her. A boy that held my hand a million times when I cried about my marriage, and taught me how to laugh in bed. A boy who would do spastic naked dancing just to see me smile.
I no longer wish to puke on him. I’ll reserve that for someone else. May the thunderbird swoop down and pick off some less deserving sap.
7 Comments:
If the Thunderbird swoops down and pics me up, do I have your permission to throw my scat at all the monkeys?
6:55 AM
That boy who called last night sounds like a loser. Dump him. That guy who keeps playing with your head sounds great! I don't think for a moment that he was hitting on that girl. I think he was just making friendly conversation. He's the kind of guy who would probably drive anyone home just to see them get back safely. What a guy. He probably misses you a WHOLE lot and wants to change himself for the better. He doesn't want to make you upset anymore and will do anything to keep you in his life. Please give him another chance.
7:48 AM
Do you know that there are people who actually enjoyed being Puked on? --- Some sort of Kinky Fetish... Wait, no, I've never seen it or done it. I'm innocent. Really, I am.
8:26 AM
and yet again...
YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE YOU!!!
8:29 AM
I'm a forgiving girl. All boys get a second chance, but I'm going to have a dance-off to see who wins!
Oh, I'm wearing...What? Don't think I can't bitch slap you from here, Mister! :) (said in a very sweet way with big eyelashes batting up at you)
11:12 AM
From Boy to be eaten by thunderbird,
I don't want to be eaten by the mythical beast known only to Amanda, and consequently called only by amanda, the Thunderbird.
Also, I don't want to be vomited on, although if I must choose, Vomit is preferrable to being masticated by a large mythical avian beast. Strangely the phrase "large mythical avian beast" seems to make me think of dragons rather than thunderbirds(Thunderbird make me think of high school, wine, drunk, and vomit) which technically gets me back to 'vomited on' in arguably the most inconsistent and circular logic ever haphazrdly thought...but hey, its homeostatic word clustering (hardly and exact science...punny punny, but maybe only to me).
Granted, I guess I should be happy. At least I am not incompetent in bed (so she says, I suppose in all fairness one should take a vote, or poll for that matter, when making ratings such as these), don't keep strange personal grooming habits for the purpose of manufacturing optical illusions about the size of my member(that word makes me cringe in that context), nor sleazily married.
Anyways its raining in San Diego so nothing to do; no surf, no beach, so I guess I'll go drinking...
Here's tot he thunderbird, dragons, vomit, and not being sleazy.
2:13 PM
Boo for taking rants down! But hey, it's all you, don't pay any attention to me. One thing though...Thunderbird doesn't do change orders...measure twice, cut once.
4:37 PM
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