Melt downs

I came back from lunch a bitter frozen popsicle shell of myself. I decided to stop at the same grocery store as every other person in Austin. I parked a good ½ mile away and ran towards the store cursing myself for my lack of chub and my stupid decision not to wear a hat today. “At least I look hot today,” I thought to myself as I stumbled through the door past the trailer park lady with the token 5 snotty nosed children. I picked up a basket and began searching for my list. Where the hell is it? I found it on aisle five adhered to my ass. Well, so much for looking hot and not having any chub. Dashing through the lanes of Mommies and singing back to one mommy with a festive “Fa-la-la-la-la-la fuck off”, I ran back to my car in hopes of blasting heat on my face.

Pissed off and irritated I slumped back into my cube degrading the Holidays and mentally spitting on people with holiday cheer. You want me to have cheer? Hand me a damn Irish coffee and get the hell away from me.

Then an email came from TR,the sweet little Spaniard who came to visit this summer.

Dear Snowflake:

“I write to you to wish you good cheer, and have the merrest Chistmas and the
happest year!!!! sorry for my bad english......i need to practise more....”

How could my heart not melt? Oh how I miss her accent and those big doe eyes. How can I let myself be so bitter at a time like this? I have to get in a better mood. Maybe not a “Christmas” mood, but something lighter than cussing out innocent self proclaimed important mommies who sing carols at the store.

Then the phone rang, and my best girl from Colorado was on the other end. Immediately I remembered all the things that make me happy. We chatted about kissing and sexual escapades, boys of today and those of tomorrow, and our families. We told one another how great we are. We laughed about farting in front of Swedes, and conning Christmas bartenders out of their drink ticket scheme. “You go for the one on the right. If it doesn’t work, I’ll come in and act like we’ll do a little lesbian action if we need to.” Anything for a free drink and a good laugh.

With those memories and her contagious laughter, I feel less bitter. I’m happy again. At least for the moment, until some soccer Mom comes barreling down the freeway at me with a damn wreath on her car. Cheers to you!