Ray of light

It’s that moment where you’re telling yourself that you can’t move because the effort is too great and someone reaches out a shaking hand. It’s the little kid that tells you how beautiful you are when you’re still in your pajamas. It’s the person that cries with you when you don’t even know what you’re crying about.

In and out they circle your life, always there to catch you. I’ve had a million of these over my life. Some of them I know and some of them I can’t picture their face anymore. Yet they’re all here within me. They are the little whispers of memories that float into my head when my mind is all confused and grey.

It’s the email from someone you’ve never met face to face, but they tell you how amazing you are. It’s the smile from a random stranger who somehow gets you. The phone call in the middle of the night because someone knows you’re not sleeping and they know you need to talk. It’s the lady at the ice cream shop that winks and puts sprinkles on your scoop because she just knows you want them.

They trickle in. They shape your smile. They put movement in your dance. They sway you from being bitter and jaded about the raw deal you know you got. They change your perspective. They act a million years older than they are and give you wise advise.

Heroes. Angels. Who knows what to call them? They are everywhere. Someone reminded me not to judge other people so harshly the other day. He reminded me of the shattered state I was in just a year or so ago. “How’s that so different from you?” I blew the comment off as flippant and arrogant.

I thought about it when I woke up this morning. He’s right. I want to be that person that sends a card to an old friend because you heard about their loss. I want to remember my power of grace in this world more often. I want to leave chocolates on friend’s doorsteps and not be afraid to hug them. I want to tell them openly about how they changed my life, and see if there is anything I can do to change theirs. It’s time to make someone remember my actions instead of my face. It’s time I moved my life in this direction. Its time to let go of fear.