Drinking shoes fail again!!!!!

Tis true, the drinking shoes once again let me down. And by down I mean a full on frontal face plant into something concrete. This is what I suspect, although I don’t really know.

Today as I write this, I sit in my little work pod all torn up. And by torn up I mean the following list of injuries:

Front tooth is chipped -you can't really tell, but I feel like this.
Nice cut on my neck (at first thought to be a hicky, but no such luck)
Elbow is bloody
Knuckles are scraped up
Bottom of foot appears to have a been burnt or severely injured
Nose is in pain and a little beat up


That’s all I can find right now. How could my drinking shoes let me down so badly? Last night was my birthday. You would think they would have gone an extra mile or so to make me happy, but no such luck. Did they need more polish? Was there something I didn’t give them? Do my puppies smell that bad? Why, oh why, did they do this to me?

In last night’s festivities I also managed to loose my key chain with all of my keys on it. Why do I keep loosing things? My cell phone, my key chain, my balance, what’s next? I had to do the walk of shame into my leasing office this morning for a new key to my apartment. How bad is the walk of shame when you didn’t even get any? At least I could have gotten a little play since I appeared to be a complete slut. I want to live up to my reputation. Again, I blame my shoes. If I hadn’t been falling all over the place, maybe someone would have taken me home. Damn them.

So if you see my keys, tell them I want them to come home. In case they can’t figure out where home is, I’ll be having a little ceremonial burning of the drinking shoes tonight. That should help light their way home.