Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Drinking shoes fail again!!!!!

Tis true, the drinking shoes once again let me down. And by down I mean a full on frontal face plant into something concrete. This is what I suspect, although I don’t really know.

Today as I write this, I sit in my little work pod all torn up. And by torn up I mean the following list of injuries:

Front tooth is chipped -you can't really tell, but I feel like this.
Nice cut on my neck (at first thought to be a hicky, but no such luck)
Elbow is bloody
Knuckles are scraped up
Bottom of foot appears to have a been burnt or severely injured
Nose is in pain and a little beat up


That’s all I can find right now. How could my drinking shoes let me down so badly? Last night was my birthday. You would think they would have gone an extra mile or so to make me happy, but no such luck. Did they need more polish? Was there something I didn’t give them? Do my puppies smell that bad? Why, oh why, did they do this to me?

In last night’s festivities I also managed to loose my key chain with all of my keys on it. Why do I keep loosing things? My cell phone, my key chain, my balance, what’s next? I had to do the walk of shame into my leasing office this morning for a new key to my apartment. How bad is the walk of shame when you didn’t even get any? At least I could have gotten a little play since I appeared to be a complete slut. I want to live up to my reputation. Again, I blame my shoes. If I hadn’t been falling all over the place, maybe someone would have taken me home. Damn them.

So if you see my keys, tell them I want them to come home. In case they can’t figure out where home is, I’ll be having a little ceremonial burning of the drinking shoes tonight. That should help light their way home.

by body item ;

12 Comments:

Blogger MzOuiser said...

Snowflake! So great to see you posting again! We have missed you. Happy belated birthday. And have you seen the spring collections? PLENTY O'New Shoes out there just BEGGING to be worn out drinking!

Cheers to you dear. Now sit down and heal thyself.

Then go shopping. ;)

12:13 PM

 
Blogger Hotpants said...

happy belated lovely love.

remember: drinking shoes must always be flat.

I prefer drinking flip flops.

I fall down a lot.

8:56 PM

 
Blogger That Girl said...

happy birthday! i fell and cracked my ass, literally, because i didn't have good drinking shoes on. sorry to hear of your fall. the wrong shoes can definately play into gettin' play. i always lose an earring too. what IS that?

9:25 PM

 
Blogger mona said...

happy bday lovely snowflake.

now, we just have to get you that hickey!

10:32 AM

 
Blogger Dirty Dan Sin said...

damn shoes...happy birthday!

10:58 AM

 
Blogger Anonymous said...

happy birthday

1:03 PM

 
Blogger Lunatic said...

You wouldn't have fallen if you were on my arm. Probably could have helped with the not getting any B-Day ass too.

4 1/2 hours. That's all I'm saying.

3:00 PM

 
Blogger Wanton Wonton said...

happy belated birthday anyway...

3:36 PM

 
Blogger ErntsBloggo said...

Hmm... perhaps instead of kissing the concrete, you were mooching on that hunk in the picture.

Hubba, hubba...

2:59 PM

 
Blogger ErntsBloggo said...

Hmm... perhaps instead of kissing the concrete, you were mooching on that hunk in the picture.

Hubba, hubba...

2:59 PM

 
Blogger Johnny said...

i guess i missed your birthday huh?

i guess that makes you a taurus.

happy birthday -- taurus.

12:40 PM

 
Blogger DrinkJack said...

Happy late birthday :) Gravity and drink always seem to be in an eternal conflict with each of us playing pawns in that dangerous game.

6:05 PM

 

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