Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Monday, March 28, 2005

Because you can’t and won’t and you don’t stop

Costanza has text messaged and called me at least 3 times a day since I met him.

One would think the lack of interest might clue him in to my resistance. As a Costanza I thought surely he would “dump” me before I would have to call him out. Big buzzer. I was wrong again. This weekend he cluttered up my SIM card with Easter wishes and messages asking me if I was okay. Since when do acquaintances worry about other people’s well being instead of feeling blown off? I should have listened to you all. Brutal honesty really is the way to go.

Instead I took my regular stubborn route and ended up with an email from the balding short man this morning. No doubt he typed it over his Hawaiian shirt’s girth with the laptop resting on his khaki shorts that shamefully present his chicken legs.

I decided to reply telling him that I haven’t been in the mood for company and that right now I feel like keeping to myself. I cheered it up at the end wishing him good luck with his endeavors with a bartender in town he has the hots for. Subtle clue. Slight shove. This will work.

10 minutes later another email comes back from the little man and he is spouting Joel Osteen’s Easter sermon to me. I would have no clue who this Osteen character is, except my oldest sister was going on and on about him on Friday night. Has this guy invaded every materialistic soulless dweller in Houston?

At first I tried to be open to the idea. I like God, he seems like a great guy to me. So I read and read and then I realized Costanza quoted about 5 paragraphs from Osteen’s sermon. Did he print it out from the web after church? Did he take notes during on Sunday with a laptop? What the hell is this? It basically gives information about not being depressed, and conquering your life.

Who the hell is this guy? If I’m not a tad depressed after a divorce, when can I be? Since when do I have to feel social all the time? Just because I opt out of calling people and doing things for a week doesn’t mean that I’m on my way to hell. It just means I need a break.

Then it goes on to tell me about how Jesus is here to save me from myself and yada yada. Boy, if I wanted organized religion there are hundred of churches I could go to. I’m a spiritual person in a very private way, and I don’t appreciate these guilt-ridden tactics from someone I talked to for a couple of hours one day. Take your westernized white man’s Jesus and shove it up your fat little ass. Let me know if you find the answer in that.

My idea of spirituality includes the concept of God, and I don’t have any problems with people who go to church. I just ask that people don’t bring the church into my life. When I want to learn about your ways, I will. Until then stop judging me and let me be.

He signed off hoping the message might “strengthen me”. The only way that I could get any stronger at this point is if I picked up his bible and beat the shit out of him with it. What’s with religion these days that it comes from a point of judgment and despair to help people because there is something wrong with them? What kind of teachings lead us to believe the people that create this world are all so bad they need saving? I don’t want a religion that creates its foundation believing that people are non-thinking, weak, and sin ridden.

If there is a religion that starts out believing that people are growing learning beautiful creatures seeking out how to be better people, I’ll go there. As for Castanza and his “I think I was meant to help you attitude”… Sorry, but I’m looking for someone who realizes I don’t need help and that I can manage on my own. I’m not looking to be saved, just appreciated for who I am.

by body item ;


Blogger Johnny said...

Thats nice.

One question. Where are all the firewomen?

11:32 AM

Blogger Larry Jones said...

This guy seems to have really pissed you off. Strange that he's not getting your message of rejection. But I wouldn't suggest brutal honesty as a way to deal with this man, because I think you can be honest without being brutal. Have you told him plainly that you are not interested in his attentions? That would work on me. Good luck.

11:12 PM

Blogger Greg said...

Ya gotta be bluuunt. The most loserish guys can't take hints. They tune them all out and live off hope and cornflakes.

And I'm 100% with you on the religion part.

1:12 AM

Blogger Wanton Wonton said...

i'm with you on the religion thing.
unfortunately, since he feels he's here to save you and stuff..you just may have to opt for brutality...
or just tell him that you're an atheist or pagen...lol...

12:27 PM

Blogger sandy said...

"The only way that I could get any stronger at this point is if I picked up his bible and beat the shit out of him with it."

I love it!

3:05 PM

Blogger Wayne said...

.............. adios mio!

Even though I respect everyone's religious belief... but i hate it when someone tries to force it on me.

The female love brid's friend from college. She's a hard-core Christian. (I mean, nothing wrong with that. She has a very strong faith) - and through out the year, she tried to convince the female love bird that she should go to church and God will do this and that any more.... One day, the female love bird got pissed off... She dress up nice and pretty and went to the Chuch with the friend.

And SLEPT the entire time in front of everyone. (I think she snort too)

If she couldn't convince that she had no interests with words, she show it to her.

Ever since that day, her friend never brought up anything religious in front of the love bird.

11:55 AM

Blogger Adriana Bliss said...

I never trusted the Christians who wanted to convert me, save me. They always seemed really friendly, talking to me, laughing with me...oh-aren't-we-sooooo-connected. They acted as if they wanted to be my best friend. Then the crash - they'd start testifying, witnessing. I'd be left with this feeling of being used - I knew the friendship was fake, agenda-ridden. They wanted my soul.

Disclaimer: not all Christians. :)

On Joel Osteen: I watch him sometimes. He's oddly appealing. He makes sense sometimes. He keeps the saving part only for the end, more like icing on the cake.

I wish you freedom from your pursuer.

11:44 AM

Blogger Dirty Dan Sin said...

Christians have got to be told off point blank from jumpstreet. Take it from an Indian.

2:05 PM

Blogger Anonymous said...

"No doubt he typed it over his Hawaiian shirt’s girth with the laptop resting on his khaki shorts that shamefully present his chicken legs."

And I thought I was the meanest wordsmith going. Damn. I'm so jealous.

On a lighter note, I doubt I can appreciate you for who you are since I don't know you but you're welcome to visit and we can share a post divorce fuck-fest to see if it would snap us each out of our doldrums.

Hey, you said honesty was the best policy. Or something.

7:22 PM

Blogger ErntsBloggo said...







8:56 AM

Blogger Porkchop said...

It it people like that who put you off religion and scar you for life... not religion itself.


9:30 AM

Blogger mona said...

first of al, i've missed you and it's so so good to read your gorgeous poetic self again.

second, amen to your whole post!

10:57 AM


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