Dear Cupid,

I know your insipid ass is out hitting people with arrows. I also know that you play mean tricks in your spare time on dogs in order to get them to stick together. I hate you and I thought that you should know that.

Yes, I realize at times you have been very good to me. I understand that you have provided me with endless hours of happiness, and that I really shouldn’t complain. But I am. So there. All I ever wanted was just to have a happy family of my own. Is wanting a family that values the simple pleasure of being together too much to ask? Is wanting to share my love of music and sense of fashion with these people a burden to you? Why oh why cupid, do you hold me back from my one true love. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was to be a part of a family like these people.

If my demands for peppy hair and shiny family shirts aren’t met by the end of today, I warn you know that I will seek my revenge. So help me the Easter Bunny and I will track down your sorry baby ass and shoot you in the head with your own arrows.

Hating you with all my guts,

Snowflake

P.S. If you can’t find me I’m going to be at Bull’s celebrating the Playa MC’s birthday. (Yea, real nice of you to try and steal the day from him.) We’ll be sitting in the window throwing garlic on couples and passing out Funion’s to promote stinky breath. You’re my bitch. Better get use to it.