Drifting thoughts of a snowflake

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Free at last!

Last week wasn’t the best of all birthday weeks. First the fall that landed me keyless and bruised from head to toe, and then Friday I got into a wreck with the X. Sure it wasn’t his fault. I know he didn’t mean to beat up the cabrio-gay, but here we are.

In retrospect, I can’t help but smile a little over it all. He was gleeful that day. There we sat at the bank signing the last piece of paper that held us together financially. The house is sold, the bank accounts separated, the mortgage paid off, on an on. All that was left was a little transaction at the bank and we were done. Forever. For good. He was grinning ear to ear, and it bothered me. Not so much that I can’t understand moving on, I can. It was more that I took his joy to mean that he was happy to rid himself of my presence.

So off he skipped out the door of the bank, asking to follow me to the restaurant for lunch. He wants to celebrate my birthday, and all the while I’m thinking he is such a pussy that he has to hide it at lunch so my replacement won’t get hurt. Wow. I feel so belittled. Insipid little remarks like,” Aren’t you glad we are done? I’ve been looking forward to this day for months now!” are oozing from his lips.

We’re at a light and I’m trying to turn, but being cautious of the traffic. I move up a little to see better. WHAM! He guns his SUV and goes flying into my car.

Seconds later we pull over to inspect the damage. He gets out and throws his sunglasses over the hood of his car and into the meticulous grounds of Pier One. I get out asking if the woman behind him pushed him into me. Turns out she didn’t. Too bad I flipped her off thinking that she had.

He apologizes for days and I’m here with a little case of whiplash and a smashed up car. Turns out for him, we’re not so separated. I have a claim against his insurance now. Guess I’m not so easy to get rid of. We spend the rest of my lunch hour on the phone with the insurance company and I watch him shake his head in disbelief. “I was so happy about today when I got up. I felt free, at last” he whispered looking down at his shoes.

All in all, I must say it makes me smile. Just a little on the inside. Rubbing his happiness in my face was insulting. Yes, I’m happy we’re completely removed from one another. But he’s still my friend. I wouldn’t rub it in front of him that I’m happier without him, which is his normal status quo.

So now when I see the dents in the cute little car, I’m okay with it. It will be a pain to be without it for a couple of days, but somehow even with a sore neck I’m just a little bit happy. In a smug little way.

by body item ;


Blogger Anonymous said...

he is out of his fucking mind.

10:25 PM

Blogger Anonymous said...

are you suggesting that the genesis for my dream was feeling I was not part of the family?

I always viewed in through a lense of "loss," i.e. me losing them (I should be so lucky :) )

you just rocked my world.

7:29 AM

Blogger Johnny said...

men are fucked up...

and that is coming from a man.

7:30 AM

Blogger MzOuiser said...

I wish insensitivity was that costly for my ex. :)

And hey - the car will be ok, right? Cabrios are awesome!

11:08 AM

Blogger Dirty Dan Sin said...

file under: 'instant karma'

11:50 AM

Blogger Alexa said...

I like dirty dan's idea, serves him right.

4:01 PM

Blogger DrinkJack said...

Wow...there is no real comment that I could come up with on that one. Glad you are ok. Glad karma bites with big teeth.

6:02 PM


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