She's back!
Friday night BB and I decided to meet and drink all the 69 bottled beers at some horrible bar here in town. We had the help of 3 other people, but it wasn’t enough. We failed the mission, but we did manage do drink over ½ the beers listed and decided that maybe doing the list in 2 sessions was more appropriate. Being the only girl on the team, I did what I could and drank all the girly beers on the list. Frabroise Raspberry, Celis White, and the Hefes were all mine.
Later we went for appetizers and wine and then stumbled into another bar for a final beer before home. Well, evidently Meet and Greet Snowflake decided to make an appearance. (Side note – Meet and Greet is my drunky pants alter ego who can go into any bar and within 5 to 10 minutes will have everyone talking to her. She’s a whirlwind fun force)
Let’s all count the number of people Snowflake can both insult and flatter all at one time, and yet people still appear to be drawn to her.
Meet and Greet walks to the bar says hello to beautiful talented friend KB, and orders a few beers for friends. Meet and Greet is then aware there is a super tall monster man behind the first two rows of patrons bellied up to the bar. Monster Man appears to be yelling some sort of chant regarding the basketball game that is on. (I know – it’s March madness. I should know who was playing, but I have no idea who it was. I think the belligerent Monster Man screamed something about Yukon).
Meet and Greet then decides to start picking on the shy boys standing in front of the giant. “So. You guys decided to bring this guy, did ya? Great. Good idea. Now he’s yelling and huge. What’s next? Fireworks out his ass? Good job guys.”
Strike one up for Meet and Greet. She just insulted 3 or 4 men at once and they now like her. Why? No idea. Of course the guy wasn’t with them, as they were obviously shuddering each time he yelled the chant. Meet and Greet strikes continues conversation with new shy boy friends.
Next thing she knows, a man orders a beer to her left. Being Meet and Greet, she immediately replies – “Yes, and put everything I order on his tab as well”. Meet and Greet looks back at him and flashes him a quick smile, only to realize the guy is pissed and trying to kill her with his mean face. Meet and Greet then laughs, tells his girlfriend what a blowhard she’s dating and they all start talking like old friends.
Tick. Another insult for Meet and Greet and yet, people still like her. My night ended with Meet and Greet making lude comments about a breakfast they should have in their hotel room with pancakes and sausage. Demonstrations with sausage included. Appears Meet and Greet is also something of sex instructor.
Finally Meet and Greet decides she can no longer take the Monster Man and his yelling. About 10 people are entertaining her by this point and he’s making too much racket for her to hear all her new friends. She turns and starts yelling at him. “Okay buddy. We all get it. And we all know you’re wearing a big green sweat suit that matches the team. And we all know you’re super tall and fabulous, but really. Is this helping your team? You’re killing us.”
The hushes sound of shocked silence starts. Monster Man stares at me blankly. Looks down at BB and says, “Dude. Your chick has the biggest balls I’ve ever seen. I’ve never had anyone to tell me to shut up before.” BB smiles and starts laughing with the guy.
Later Monster Man came up and joined the growing group of Meet and Greet new friends. All he could say was, “Boy, you better watch her. A woman like that’s liable to either get you in a fight or get you laid”.
True. That girl, Meet and Greet, she’s a character. We’ll have to take her on a road show. I was actually worried that I had lost her. It’s been a while since she came out and played. Welcome back, MG – I’ve missed you!
